Lost To Find My Lot

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd I’m losing my breath,
Lost as a kid, lost as an adult
I feel everything is falling apart and its my fault
Lost as a person, cant find my way
Lost in life every day, Lost in worry
Who am I?
I’ve lived a Lie
Lost to Kindness,
Lost to Love
Lost in the sky,
Like a lonely dove
Lost in thought
which I shouldn’t do
It Winds me up,
I can’t get through
Lost to comfort all kind words
Lost to advice that isn’t heard
Lost to those who really care?
All these people always there
Lost in Me, I need a break
Lost in wonder which road should I take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well
Where are you now?
There’s no one to tell
Lost here all alone
To break these walls
Lost in mind
Lost in soul
Lost memories, there just a hole
Lost family, lost my place
Still yet I’m full of hate
Lost in boredom think I’ll leave
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve

Olivia Braun

Marissa Turn 11!!!

Interesting Enough....

I just noticed that I haven't blogged since the end of September.. that would mark the time when I noticed a huge change in my life. One that I still can't get out, and put in black and white. I just thought it was interesting that I stopped blogging at the same time I stopped caring about alot of other stuff in my life.. Here's to finding myself once again! :)

I just realized how long it's been since the last time I've blogged. What can I say? We are back to our crazy schedule. Marissa is in fifth grade now.. wow, right! She just started playing volleyball last week, and her first game is this Saturday.. we are very excited!
I'm back to work... I'm teaching a new pre-k class this year, and I'm doing my Internship this year in a kindergarten class, on top of going to school! It makes for an exhausted week! I love being in the kindergarten class, but I will be happy when that part of my schooling is done!!!
I'm still having knee problems, but it hasn't been to bad the last couple of weeks. I was able to finally get a cortisone shot in my knee, and it seems to be doing really well. I would say it took about 80% of the pain away! I also got a unloader brace.. which should also help a great deal! The Doctor told me that we would give it six more months, and if things don't change I'll be looking into getting a full knee replacement.
Anyways, I'll try to keep this thing up dated!! It just seems so hard lately with our crazy schedule...

Just Like That...

Watch out world... I'm mobile again! Just like that!! We went camping at Nat Soo Pah Hot Springs by Twin Falls this week, and we had a great time! The pool was so relaxing, it was nice! The moment I decided I didn't need my crutches anymore was when I was in a dressing room with Marissa, and I told her to stay there, and I would go get the next bunch of clothes to try on, and I walked out of the dressing room without my crutches, and when I got to Dan, he asked me were my crutches were.. I didn't even realize I left them! So, I had to go back into the dressing room, and get them. The fitting room clerk thought I was CRAZY!!! I told Dan enough is enough.. I've forgotten my crutches more than just that time, but that one was the most embarrassing! My leg feels so good! I still have some popping, but I have no complaints! Before my surgery I couldn't even walk, or put weight on my leg at all!! I have a feeling.. I should have done the surgery years ago... I feel so free!! I can't wait to enjoy the rest of my summer.... WITH NO CRUTCHES!

Wondering....

Am I going to ever walk normal again? I've been at fifty percent walking on my crutches for a week now, and the last couple of days my knee has been hurting so bad!! I hope that this will end soon!! One more week of this, and the Doctor said I can start winging myself off the crutches with the help of only one... we will see!

My Thought.....

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same." ~ Flavia Weedn

This poem reminded me of someone who came into my life years ago, and changed it forever... People come in and out of our lives, but sometimes they do leave lasting footprints on our hearts. I know I'm a better person today because of this person! It's funny how things don't work out, and it's amazing how they do! Sometimes, you just don't see it right away.....

Six Weeks Down and My Silly Daughter!!

It's been six weeks since my surgery... I'm so glad it's almost all over, and I can throw the crutches out the door! I go to the Doctors tomorrow, it should be pretty interesting! I was chatting with my sister this evening about what info I need to tell the Doctor, and the info maybe I should keep to myself.. he needs to know the important stuff, right! We decided maybe he don't need to know that I went inter tubing out on the lake... I'm fine, right? What good would it do to tell him... I'm a foolish person! Anyways, I'm way excited to be getting the green light to be more mobile... YES!!! It's been a very trying six weeks, I can tell you that much! I so hope this is just what my knee needs to buy me some "knee time"!

Okay, so I have a Jessica Simpson for a daughter! Marissa and I went to the store yesterday, and I asked her to get a can of tuna. I pointed at it, and she told me, "I didn't know that tuna was chicken!" and I said, "WHAT?" and she said, "Yeah, it says Chicken Of The Sea!" I just shook my head, and walked "crutched" away, laughing! I later explained it to her, and she said it made no since at all! She thinks the company should be, Tuna Of The Sea... I guess I agree with her! After all, it is tuna they are selling... not chicken!

Catch Up...

We went on vacation last week to Yellow Stone, Bear Lake, Cherry Hills in Salt Lake City. We had a fantastic time together, and really enjoyed our camper! We are so in love with it!! (I will post pics. soon)
Tomorrow will be five weeks for me and my crutches.. wow!! I'm almost done!! My knee feels really good! I'm just hoping all goes well, and it's what my knee needs to buy me some time! Going on our trip really made the time go faster. I know I can do anything, now that I've done Yellow Stone on crutches!!!
Marissa has been enjoying all her free time with her friends in the sun and water! She got a new pool for her good grades, and she lives in there morning, afternoon, and night! (I think she was a fish in her past life!)
We went and watched Wall-E tonight, it was cute!! It wasn't my favorite pixar movie. Marissa really enjoyed it, and that's all thst matters!!

Stitches Out and Fathers Day Weekend...

I got my stitches out on Thursday! Two weeks down, four more to go!! My recovery seems to be going very well! I just wish some of the pain and bruising would subside....

This weekend we went camping, and I must say it was an adventure! Now, I can say that I have been camping on crutches! It's not natural!! We went to a little lake that's close to our house, and took our boat with us. I think I'm the only person to go boating on crutches in world! Okay, so maybe not the only person, but I bet I'm the only crazy person to get out of the boat on shore and walk through the water and sand on crutches! Maybe, it's because sane people know that it's just not save to walk on crutches through the sand because you can fall... (we just won't go there!) Again, it's not natural! I'm crazy!! I'm not going to let a little surgery stop me from going out and being adventurous! It's just not me! Anyways, We had a great Fathers Day weekend! We got Dan a portable Coleman barbecue, and he was excited he could use it while we were camping.. silly Daddy!!